" She took my arm and together we walked alongside the beck, while she prattled away about nothing in particular, as females are wont to do when they know a man is just itching to get between their thighs."Tell me Captain, do you prefer to be called Elijah or John?" My astonishment showed on my face."Oh I have made inquiries about you, Captain Greenaway." She giggled like a young school girl, although she was not too far distant in age from me. "I do not contemplate breaking my marriage vows without finding out all I can of my intended partners."You could have blown me down with a feather; this shy and retiring, timid looking Rector's wife was a frequent and regular adulteress?"You may call me Susannah," she continued, "and I shall call you John."You must think me a poor excuse for gentleman, to have even considered galloping a married lady, and I confess I did nurture some qualms about the action I was contemplating. Up until now all my sexual partners had either been professional. For God's sake." Ooh that's nice as well, I think I'll treat myself to some stockings."I squirmed as women looked at me and smiled at my discomfort."Oh Terry, look at this, I've always wanted one of these, and she held up a sheer white baby doll with matching panties." Come on for Christ's sake, or I'm outa here."She pouted and took her purchases to the checkout, as she handed over her purchases the woman behind her said with a laugh."I wish my boyfriend would buy me stuff like that, all he thinks about is beer and more bloody beer."Then turning to me she said."You look after her, she looks like she's been run over by a bloody bus." Oh he does luv, believe me, he does, he's lovely aren't you darling?" and threading her arm through mine she led the way out of the shop before breaking down in tears of laughter."Hahahaha, my boyfriend, she actually thought you were my boyfriend."For some reason, I got quite annoyed at her laughter."Well you could do a lot bloody worse mum, I think I'm.
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